by Jesse Berney
There is definitely a type
at CPAC: young, white (of course), male, wearing a suit, completely awkward, yet
brimming with confidence. They’re delighted to be here, and they should
be. Lots of conservative red meat on the main stage, lots of take-home treats in the exhibit hall, trainings and parties.
You hear some interesting things as you
walk through the halls. Some politics related, some not. Here are some
of the top quotes I overheard at CPAC:
- “I’m just here for the outfits.”
- “I was just in the elevator with Ted Cruz!” -a very excited attendee sporting a student credential
- “MOHAMMED IS A HOMO” -definitely the worst t-shirt I saw here
- “Killin’ it. Killin’ it.” -attendee very excited about his three-piece suit
- “The man is the head of the house, the woman is the neck.”
- “The Democrats are like the Politburo. You never hear about Democrats having any discord.” -someone who has apparently never been in a room with two Democrats.
- “I am literally starving.” -Jeb Bush supporter who was not, in fact, literally starving.
- “I only play squash and golf.” -Those aren’t sports, squash is just a networking activity for rich kids.
- “He was telling me about breakfast burritos and how they’re like ISIS and global jihad.” -the most CPAC thing ever said.
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