Why Trump Will Not Be Pretender

by John DeProspo

For all those worriers who are beginning to believe a Trump junta may be possible; to all those delusional supporters who believe the man has more than a snowball’s chance in hell of becoming our nation’s 45th president, I have only one thing to say: Melania Knauss-Trump.
The news media has been so consumed with covering the improbable rise of Trump that very little time has been devoted to Melania, Trump’s third wife. Since the Republican cabal’s mouthpiece, Fox News, has not covered the potential First Lady, wingnuts don’t have a clue what they’re dealing with.
Safe to say no First Lady has ever posed nude for a magazine spread, as did Mrs. Trump. Nor has any other First Lady talked about her incredible sex life (with Trump) on the Howard Stern show. If the puritanical, family-values religio-wingnut base were to see what many others around the world saw in a 2000 issue of British GQ, their knickers would be in a bunch!
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against the current Mrs. Trump. In fact, I would be more than pleased to call Melania my First Lady. She is not an airhead. Many have likened the former Slovenian model to Jackie Kennedy, in her style and grace. But as hypocritical as christian wingnuts may be, they could never abide a nude model in the White House. We, as a nation, are just not as hip as the French or Italians.
If true craziness were to take over a majority of the electorate, voting Trump in as our next Commander in Chief, I can just hear Pat Robertson now … “We have revisited Sodom and Gomorrah. Another clear sign that the End Times are nigh!”
Hillary, for her part, has dispatched a cadre of staff members to dig up dirt on Melania, just in case. “I’ve learned the hard way that it ain’t over until the fat lady sings. I’m taking nothing for granted.”