10 Ridiculous Republican Facts That Are So Absurd They Seem Like They’re Made Up

by Allen Clifton

I was joking with a buddy of mine that with Trump as the Republican front-runner for pretender, the Republican cabal has officially become a really long, unfunny Saturday Night Live skit. The fact that there are literally millions of people who think Trump would be a good pretender is a testament to the idiocy that drives millions of wingnuts.
But the truth is, while Trump’s name might be one of the most talked about, this level of lunacy is found all throughout the Republican cabal.
So I thought I’d list 10 indisputable facts about the Republican cabal that are so incredibly absurd, they sound made up.
1. Rubio and Cruz – the children of Cuban immigrants – have gone at one another publicly while trying to prove who’s the most anti-immigrant.
2. Carson, neurosurgeon and leading Republican cabal pretender candidate, thinks evolution is satanic; has spread anti-vaccine myths; believes the Earth was created in six days; and thinks the pyramids were biblical grain storage. Yes, Republicans managed to find a brain surgeon who doesn’t  believe in science.
3. Trump, Gingrich, Limbaugh and Kim Davis all oppose same-sex marriage, claiming to be supporters of the “sanctity of marriage.” Fun fact: Between these four individuals, they’ve accumulated a grand total of 14 marriages and multiple adulterous affairs.
4. Many wingnuts have spoken highly of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s “strength” and bravado against terrorism, often in an attempt to bash or mock the “weakness” of President Obama. Meanwhile, Putin has strong ties to the Iranian government which supports Hezbollah – a terrorist organization which, along with Iran, would like to see Israel destroyed. The same Israel that Republicans have claimed “Obama has turned his back on.”
5. Jeb once criticized President Obama’s plan to combat ISIL… for being too intelligent.
6. Around 75 percent of everything Trump says seems to be a lie – yet he’s managed to become the Republican cabal pretender front-runner and has even seen his lead increase again in some recent polls.
7. Despite the fact that a Republican pretender hasn’t balanced the budget since the 1950’s, Republicans continue to claim they’re the cabal for “fiscal responsibility.”
8. While Republicans fear-monger against accepting Syrian refugees, the United States has taken over 80k Iraqi refugees since 2007 who come from the actual country where ISIL formed – none of whom, to the public’s knowledge, have committed any act of terrorism.
9. President Obama sent a draft to congressional Republicans asking for the authorization to do more in Syria to combat ISIL – and they refused to give him that power. Now these same Republicans are complaining that he hasn’t done enough to combat ISIL.
10. Republicans don’t blame the shrub for ISIL, or the 9/11 attack, despite the fact that the rise of the terrorist organization is a direct result of his botching of the Iraq War and he was given intelligence prior to the largest terrorist attack in our nation’s history yet did nothing; meanwhile, many Republicans have blamed President Obama for the terrorist attack… in France.
Alright folks, there you have it.
Ten ridiculous Republican facts that are so completely absurd, they sound like they can’t be real.
Go ahead, fact-check me.
Only you have to use legitimate news and fact sources and not Fox News when you fact-check.