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What Now, Teabaggers?

President Obama Descended From 14 Revolutionary War Veterans — Which Makes Him More American than …Pretty Much Anyone

by: Richard Rowe

Welcome to out latest meme article, on a meme that’s been circulating — we’d imagine about as sweetly as a cheap bottle of sour apple vodka — around wingnut webholes. Hilariously, the one unifying factor on pages that do dare post it seem a bit devoid of comments compared to most others. Imagine a fart in a room of Southern Ladies disguised by the sound of crickets chirping. Kind of like that. And for pretty good reason: Because it’s wrong.

For those who haven’t heard, that evil ferriner Kenyan Muslim has some pretty impressive credentials when it comes to lineage in United States history. As we all know, Obama’s father was a dark-skinned voodoo demon who performed a Muslim terrorist ritual in chicken blood to please his communist union masters. Also, Saul Alinsky. But his mother Ann Dunham was a down-home Kansas girl, a sixth cousin to Wild Bill Hickok.

Atop her Wild West blood though, Ann was predominantly English by ancestry. And that English portion of her family has been here for a long time — colonial times, as it turns out. Not just any colonials, either. As it turns out, The Islamist Kenyan directly descends from no less than 14 PEOPLE who fought (on our side) in the Revolutionary War. Or, if not fought directly, then at least provided vital services like Moses Teague (1718-1777), who supplied the American Army in North Carolina. Which might technically make him one of our nation’s first defense contractors. Obama is related to him through his son-in-law James Wellborn, a private in the American army. you can read about the rest here.

He’s also, ironically, related to two English kings, one of which being Edward I. Edward’s known largely for launching the Eighth and Ninth Crusades; Obama is his 22nd cousin. And so, bizarrely enough, is another political figure — none other than Obama’s first opponent, John McCain, who is also a 22nd cousin of Edward’s. We know. Weird.

So, 14 people who fought in the Revolutionary War, and a king who launched two Crusades to recapture the Holy Land; by your normal Republican standards, this guy should have been elected jesus christ by now.  Even Sarah Palin, who herself is related to 25 people who fought in the Revolutionary War, can’t claim a king who launched a freaking Crusade. Against Mooslems, no less.

But aside from also maybe having some technical claim to the throne of England, Obama is more locally entitled to claim entry into the Sons of the American Revolution. Not to be confused with the Sons of Confederate Veterans (annual cross burning scheduled for April 15th), the SAR is a proud institution with a long history and about 30,000 members at present.

Indeed, when Washington bequeathed this land to the progeny of his people, there’s no doubt he was speaking pretty explicitly of Barack Obama. That also includes the sons and daughters of America’s slaves, many of whom were drafted into fighting for America during the Revolution. The children of those who fought for this country (black and white) are in no uncertain terms the direct inheritors of Washington’s legacy.

But you know who might not be?

Technically speaking, anybody whose entire families got here after the war was over. Which, if you’re counting, includes the vast majority of people in this country. Well, white people, anyway. Going by that standard, here’s a short list of people who are less American than Barack Obama; or, at least, those whose families weren’t here to fight in the Revolutionary War:

• Ted Cruz — Cuban and Canadian
• The Koch Brothers — Parents were Dutch Immigrants
• Glen Beck — Grandson of 19th century German Immigrants
• Marco Rubio — Cuban parents
• Sean Hannity — Grandson of 20th century Irish immigrants
• Bill O’Reilly — Grandson of 19th century Irish immigrants
• John Boehner — Grandson of 20th century German and Irish immigrants
• Mitch McConnell — Son of Irish Immigrants

And, of course, the Head Birther himself, the one, the only…

• “The” Donald Trump — Grandson of 19th century German and Scottish immigrants

Of all of these people, not a one had family in the United States before 1850 — let alone were descended from 14 different people who fought in the Revolutionary War. And that’s not counting the family of 15th century slave John Punch, to whom Obama is also related through Ann Dunham. In sum total, it’s probably fair to say that Obama’s family roots in the United States may run deeper than almost any president in history, aside from the ones who actually fought in the Revolution. Barry Hussein Soetoro, then, could pretty easily out-American most of his critics, including the Koch Brothers, Sean Hannity and Donald Trump.
But, he’s black. So, you know…none of that counts. Everyone knows white people who got here in 1930 are “more American” than dark people who have been here since 1650.

***

Editors Note: Still though, Barack can be out-Americaned by a few people.
Including  yours truly, whose direct lineage includes one of the authors of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson and two people who signed the Declaration of Independence, John Hancock and George Washington as well as the native Americans who met the first boats and the Kings of Scotland and England and most of Europe.

Obama Squandering America’s Precious Supply of Enemies

by Andy Borowitz

 

By easing tensions with Cuba and now Iran, President Obama is “recklessly squandering America’s precious supply of enemies,” the leader of a wingnut 'think' tank said on Tuesday.“Our adversarial relationships with Cuba and Iran took years of frostiness and saber-rattling to maintain,” Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of the Washington-based Institute for Infinite Conflict, said. “Thanks to the President, decades of well-crafted hostility have been thrown out the window.”
According to Dorrinson, fears abound in wingnut circles that the President might be “capriciously casting about for other powder kegs to defuse” during his remaining time in office.
“If his shameful record is any guide, he’ll probably try to disarm North Korea,” Dorrinson said. “That’s the doomsday scenario.”
Regardless of his future actions, Obama’s detente with Cuba and Iran will likely tarnish his legacy forever, Dorrinson said. “On this President’s watch, America lost two of its most enduring foes,” he said. “He’s going to have to live with that for the rest of his life.”

***

Of course any sane person knows the above is satire.
But what makes it such good satire is that it is so damn close to being the actual truth of the wingnut mindset.
Scary close - very scary close.

Politix Update: The Bernie Sanders Effect; Return Of Opus The Penguin

Among Clinton's other economic proposals are two that stand in dramatic contrast to Bush and his fellow Republican clown car poolers.

Politix Update

The Republican Cabal: Lost and Soon Forgotten

This Man Took On Fox News And Became A Hero To His City

"A propaganda machine, nothing more and nothing less"

Bernie Sanders And Liz Warren: The Cable Bill Is Too Damn High

 

"There are now de facto telecommunications monopolies throughout the United States."

'Member of the 1%' shocks Reddit: 'I'm voting for Bernie Sanders

'Member of the 1%' shocks Reddit: 'I'm voting for Bernie Sanders. Here's why'

Red State Arizona Goes Gaga Over Bernie Sanders As Demand Forces Rally To A Bigger Arena

The demand for tickets for a Bernie Sanders campaign rally is so high in the red state of Arizona that the campaign has been forced to move the event to a bigger arena.

The Sanders campaign announced that the 7 PM local time rally in Phoenix has been moved, “With turnout projections mounting, U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders’ campaign has shifted the location of Saturday’s rally in Phoenix, Arizona, to the Phoenix Convention Center.”

The need for a bigger venue comes on the heels of the campaign discussing their wave of small donors that are opening their wallets for Sanders:

Small donors accounted for more than three-quarters of all contributors to the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, according to report filed on Wednesday with the Federal Election Commission.

Altogether, more than 76.5 percent of all contributions – totaling more than $10.5 million – came from individuals who donated less than $200.

….

In the report, the Sanders campaign disclosed that it raised more than $15.2 million during the two months since the senator from Vermont launched his campaign on April 30. There were 390,730 donations from 284,062 individuals whose average contribution was $35.18. The campaign spent $2.9 million during the reporting period and had almost $12.2 million cash on hand as of June 30.

The media has become fond of lumping Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump into the same category, but there is no comparison between Trump and Sanders as far as being an actual candidate is concerned.

Trump is at the top of the Republican polls because of the volume of mainstream media attention that he is getting. If Donald Trump had to campaign like a real candidate, his polling numbers would be much smaller. Unlike the media created candidacy of Donald Trump, Sen. Bernie Sanders is a candidate who has hundreds of thousands of people standing with him by opening up their wallets and giving what they can afford to fight back against billionaires like Trump.

Donald Trump is a novelty and a presidential election sideshow. Bernie Sanders is a real candidate who is being powered by ordinary Americans who believe in his message that the country needs good paying jobs and real economic opportunities for everyone else besides the people at the top. Bernie Sanders is building the sort of grassroots movement that isn’t bound by the partisan divides of red state and blue state.

The demand for Sen. Sanders illustrates an appeal that crosses into all 50 states.

The Koch-Congress Is Gutting The EPA While The Media Is Silent

As the leading industrial nations in the world are working feverishly to combat climate change, Koch-Republicans work to further the damage the environment …

It is a shame that the media, and most political pundits spend an inordinate amount of their energy and resources concealing a clear and present danger to the American people; a danger that the majority of Americans want politicians to address immediately. Politicians are just as guilty as the media of either glossing over the existential threat of anthropogenic climate change to the nation or pretending the issue does not exist. However, the same criticism does not apply to President Obama who has done nearly everything within his power to address climate change and it is indeed a tragedy that regardless his efforts, Republicans have made exacerbating the problem their raison d’être as remuneration to their masters in the fossil fuel industry.

This week, House Republicans served their Koch masters well by gutting the Environmental Protection Agency’s budget by $718 million, and dutifully inserted special language to abolish the agency’s environmental regulations, monitoring, and enforcement authority to reduce carbon emissions. It is noteworthy that over 60% of the American people, Democrats and Republicans alike, want the federal government to take immediate action to reduce greenhouse (carbon) emissions because they understand those emissions are driving the devastating effects of climate change.

The Office of Management and Budget (OMB) Director Shaun Donovan said the cuts to the “EPA reflect the lowest levels of funding in a decade” and will adversely affect jobs and the economy because “nearly every state has water or conservation projects that will be lost” to the Koch Congress. The head of the EPA, Gina McCarthy, parroted Donovan’s concerns complaining that with the cuts, Republicans are prohibiting the EPA from finalizing President Obama’s Clean Power Plan a federal court just ruled was legal, indefinitely delay implementation of the Supreme Court ordered Waters of the United States rule, and eliminate by a third a grant program to revitalize brownfields according to directions from the Koch brothers.

McCarthy also noted that the Republican cuts and abolishing environment regulations has “terrible real-world consequences” besides contributing to climate change such as endangering over two million miles of streams and 20 million acres of wetlands, kills thousands of construction jobs that will be lost just through cuts to the fund that allows states and municipalities to invest in clean water projects, and further compromises public health and environment. Republicans live to compromise the public’s health and environment they claim prevents President Obama and the EPA from enacting “job crushing regulations” and to allow them to do what only Republicans can do; “protect the nation’s natural resources and promote safe and clean American energy.” To that end, Koch-Republicans did allocate extra funding specifically to block the EPA from protecting America’s clean water and air supply from the dirty fossil fuel industry.

That was just a small sample of the bad environmental news very few in any media are loath to report, and it fairly pales in comparison to the recent good news in the Administration’s fight to really protect America’s clean water and air and reduce the devastating effects of climate change and keep pace with communist China’s heroic efforts to cut carbon emissions.

In Iowa this week, Alliant Energy, a major utility provider committed to phase out coal use at six of its plants that marks the 200th coal plant to shut down in the United States.  As an aside, last month, communist China shut down all of its coal-fired power plants and moved to clean energy as part of its historic climate agreement with President Obama. Besides marking an important milestone in America’s transition to clean energy, the move “underscores Iowa’s growth as a clean energy state;” something the Koch brothers, ALEC, and Heritage Action are gnashing their teeth over and waging a ferocious campaign to bring to an end.  The retirement of 200 coal plants across the country represents a nearly 40 percent reduction in the number of carbon emitting power plants over the past five years and replace them with clean energy. The reduction has put America in the lead among all industrial nations in cutting global warming pollution and protecting the air and water all Americans depend on. It is something the media has not reported.

As the executive director of the Sierra Club, Michael Brune, noted, “The days of coal-fired power plants putting Americans at health at risk are coming to an end. In Iowa and across the country, people are demanding clean air and clean water and they are winning. Iowa is a leader in America’s transition from coal to renewable energy, and is providing a model for other communities as they demand and realize a 100 percent clean energy future.”

Another news item the media was too busy covering Donald Trump and Benjamin Netanyahu to give any attention to was the announcement that two of the world’s largest countries joined forces to fight climate change and boost renewable energy. Last week Brazil and the United States announced a joint pledge to increase renewable energy by 20 percent within ten years. Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff said that “the environmental agenda is absolutely key and essential for our two countries,” and “vowed to fight for an ambitious climate agreement” when the international community meets in Paris for a climate summit at the end of the year. America and Brazil’s pledge came within hours of communist China’s ‘official submission’ of its climate targets to the United Nations to start “building momentum for a global treaty to fight climate change.”

It is remarkable, and pathetic, that as the leading industrial nations in the world are working feverishly to combat climate change and protect the Earth’s population, Republicans and their fossil fuel funding mechanism are doing everything in their power to perpetuate the damage. Republicans are so indebted to the Koch brothers, that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told the rest of the world’s leaders that America would not fulfill any commitment to reduce carbon emissions or combat climate change. He even told world leaders that President Obama’s historic agreements on climate change were illegal and that Republicans would do everything to block them. House Republicans duly fulfilled McConnell’s  assertion by defunding the Environmental Protection Agency and allocating funds specifically to abolish regulations to monitor greenhouse gas emissions.

Climate change is wreaking havoc across America and although local media may indeed report on historic droughts, devastating wildfires, and massive flooding, they never report on the cause or what Republicans are doing to perpetuate it. However, they do take the time to report Republican claims that President Obama’s efforts to reduce the effects of climate change are illegal instead of reporting the he is protecting Americans’ health, their air and water, the economy, and America’s national security; all the things Republicans claim are executive overreach.

Donald Trump is That Awkward Moment When the Republican Cabal Hears What it Sounds Like

Somehow, Donald Trump has become that awkward moment when Republicans finally hear themselves talk. And, in hearing everything they believe articulated in the public forum, they are horrified.

You know how bad things are for those poor fellows on the political right when they start to claim Trump is actually a Democrat plant, put there to make them look bad.

But no. Sorry to say, that’s just how insane you folks have become. You really do sound like that.

I almost feel sorry for you, and probably would if you’d actually learn something from this experience.

But you haven’t. And you won’t.

They deserve this:

Via The Hill: Trump Tops National Poll for Second Straight Week http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/247875-trump-tops-national-poll-for-second-straight-week …

4:37 PM - 14 Jul 2015

The Hill

Trump tops national poll for second straight week

Trump gets 17 percent compared to 14 percent for Jeb Bush.

Sure, we will always have the Ted Cruzes and the Scott Walkers, and I have argued elsewhere that all this can be traced back to Rick Santorum as an immediate antecedent. It used to be just Santorum saying the stupid stuff nobody else would say. Now they all do it.

It’s just that nobody listened to Santorum. And can you blame them? He is about as interesting as his Dan Savage neologism.

They have all become Santorum. Even Trump. But people listen to Trump. Oh, how they listen to Trump. Often mouth agape in horrified silence, but they listen.

And this is new. Donald Trump might be the demagogue the Republican base has been waiting for. I’m not certain Mitt Romney ever really clued in on what the Republican cabal stands for these days. He was too busy thinking about Mitt Romney to get beyond peripherals like plastic raincoats.

But Trump gets it, and he doesn’t mind saying it. Much to the delight of liberals and progressives, who are happy to have things finally out in the open.

And let’s face it: It’s bad. Very bad. Trump’s verbal ineptitude makes Rick Perry’s prolonged 2012 faux pas pale by comparison. As Dave Letterman quipped about his untimely retirement, it was the worst mistake of his life to leave just as Trump enters the stage.

Oh the jokes. Even jesus couldn’t turn 4,000 people into 20,000. Even jesus couldn’t claim of the Sanhedrin, “Oh, they love me!”

Scott Walker can claim that he is doing what dog wants him to do, like so many Republican candidates before him *ahem* Sarah Palin *ahem* and we can prove otherwise. But when Trump says Hispanics love him, it is easily proved, of course, that they can’t stand him. We can’t ask dog, but we can sure ask Hispanics.

This is all so very embarrassing for the Republican cabal and it is fun to watch them squirm, not only the establishment but his fellow not-so-establishment running mates, other guys the establishment would likely not mind jettisoning.

Who doesn’t love seen Karl Rove – and by extension, the shrub – openly and brazenly attacked by a Republican pretender hopeful?

Why do people listen to clown @KarlRove on @FoxNews? Spent $430M & lost all races—a Bushy!

I don’t know. We have been asking that for years. And,

Irrelevant clown @KarlRove sweats and shakes nervously on @FoxNews as he talks "bull" about me. Has zero cred. Made fool of himself in '12.

Maybe they didn’t realize how bad their rhetoric sounded until the mainstream media broadcast it? Perhaps they should have – 2012 and Mitt Romney are in our recent past after all.

Or maybe, as some have suggested, they are perfectly comfortable with the things Trump is saying, but horrified that he is actually saying them. You know, out loud.

We may never know what is going on in their heads as they listen to Trump. Heck, they may never know what’s going on in their heads.

We do know this, however: In the end, when you look at the Trump platform, this lowbrow cracker Renaissance led by a rich white guy, what you are seeing is a replay of 2008. That’s right: Republicans aren’t reaching very far into their past for a Golden Age to latch on to.

We are no longer silent. We are energized & ready to take our country back. Let’s Make America Great Again! 

The message is the same: Take back our country. In 2008, a bunch of poor white crackers funded by the rich guys who took their jobs, managed to scapegoat black folks for their misery. The same thing is happening now, with “Mexicans” in the role of blacks.

You remember how riled up they got when our first black president told them, “You didn’t build that”?

Well, Obama was wrong this once: they did build that. All on their own. They can’t pin the Confederate flag on us, and they sure as hell aren’t going to pin that Frankenstein Trump on us.

As they say in the old Westerns, you dealt the cards. Now play ’em. And no, Kenny Rogers isn’t going to save you either.

This is the reality of the Republican cabal. They may want Trump to shut up, but this is what they sound like, and for whatever reason, they are horrified. No Democrat alive, not Barack Obama, not even Bernie Sanders, could have stirred up this ant’s nest of hate.

Megyn Kelly’s pointing to Karl Rove’s “math you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better” couldn’t change reality in 2012, and voodoo math won’t save Rove or the Republican cabal in 2016 either. #Bushy beware: there is a new stupid in town, and his name is Trump.

How Donald Trump’s performance art and Fox News extremism are impacting the Republican cabal

How Donald Trump’s performance art and Fox News extremism are impacting the Republican cabal

With the crowded roster of Republican cabal pretender candidates set to expand to 16 with Ohio's idiot John Kasich’s planned July 21 announcement, the importance of the August 6 Republican debate – the race’s first – in starting to winnow down the field becomes increasingly clear. Even more apparent is the role that Fox News will play in shaping that debate, and thus dictating the campaign’s frontrunners.

Crazy Lunatic Fringe-Wingnut Conspiracy Wack-Job Nut Knows What Obama Is ‘Really’ Up To

Wild-eyed conspiracy nut Avi Lipkin — alias Victor Mordecai — is the wingnuts' go-to guy for bashing islam. He’s spewed several...

Crazy Lunatic Fringe-Wingnut Conspiracy Wack-Job Nut

Citizens United Ruling Has An Unexpected Consequence For Republican Cabal Clown Car, And It’s Not Good

The Citizens United ruling has a small silver lining after all. It’s posing some real challenges for the rnc and  puts a White House 'win' into the impossible category.

Read more 

Wingnut America’s Favorite Religio-Wingnut 'University' Is Thriving — Because Of Progressive Policies

"[Liberty University's] growth over the past decade would not have been possible without billions of dollars of support from the federal government and, more specifically, liberal Democrats who pushed through an expansion of federal financial aid.”

3 awesome ways Satanists are trolling religio-wingnut 'christians'

Here are 3 awesome ways Satanists are trolling religio-wingnut 'christians'

Once again, Satanists show they are the absolute masters at trolling wingnuts.

Evangelical pastor arrested for sex abuse

Evangelical pastor arrested for sex abuse after being found with 13-year-old girl in backseat of a car

***

It is no shock a religio-wingnut was fornicating with an under-age person.
The shocker here is this scumbag was diddling a girl and not a boy as his religio-wingnut ilk are wont to do.
While it is wrong in any way, shape or form, it is an aberration from the religio-wingnut norm of fornicating with young boys 

Texas Republicans Violate The Constitution By Denying Citizenship To US Born Hispanic Children

Texas has been violating the 14th amendment, by refusing to issue birth certificates to American-born children of undocumented immigrants.…  

Last Monday, the Texas Observer’s Melissa del Bosque broke a story revealing that the state of Texas has been deliberately violating the 14th amendment, by refusing to issue birth certificates to dozens of American-born children of undocumented Hispanic immigrants.

In May, four women filed a civil rights lawsuit against the Texas Department of State Health Services for unconstitutional discrimination, and for interfering with the federal government’s authority over immigration matters. The plaintiffs are being represented by Texas RioGrande Legal Aid Attorney Jennifer Harbury.

The four plaintiffs are just the tip of the iceberg, however. Harbury notes that since filing the suit, she has received calls from dozens of other women whose children also were not permitted to obtain a birth certificate even though they were born in the United States.

The lawsuit alleges that employees for the Texas Department of State Health Services in Cameron and Hidalgo counties refused to accept photo IDs from the mothers, because those IDs were not presented along with a current U.S. visa. This means employees are no longer accepting foreign passports and the matricula consular photo ID issued by the Mexican Consulate, even though those forms of ID have always been considered sufficient for verifying a mother’s identity in the past.

Texas state law even specifies that a mother’s foreign ID is valid proof of identity if she has no Texas driver’s license or U.S. passport. However, the state is now ignoring its own laws as well as violating the United States Constitution.

While state of Texas employees may be trying to end birthright citizenship for children of undocumented Mexican and Central American immigrants, they have no authority to do so. Section 1 of the 14th amendment to the U.S. Constitution makes it very clear that birthright citizenship is the law of the land. The first sentence to section 1 of the 14th amendment reads:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside.

The state of Texas has no legal right to discard the Constitution, simply because they do not like what it says. Birthright citizenship is guaranteed by the supreme law of the land. If Texas does not honor that right, they are clearly violating the civil rights of the U.S. born children that they refuse to recognize as American citizens.

Bad Cops

Judge Releases Video Of Police Shooting Unarmed Man The Government Tried To Keep Secret

‘Absolutely nothing’ but usual quiet in Texas on first day of Jade Helm 15

A “ Come and Take It” flag flew proudly on a pole outside a ranch near Bastrop, TX on Wednesday. But on the first day of Jade Helm 15 , no one appeared to be coming, let alone taking anything.

‘Absolutely nothing’ but usual quiet in Texas on first day of Jade Helm 15

Editor's Note: That goes for the second day as well.