Two advocates launch an initiative to push back against nuclear family privilege.
by Kali Holloway
The term “family values,” particularly when used in
election years, is rarely about what really matters to children and
families. Instead the phrase serves to indict those who don’t live in
traditional nuclear American homes—despite the fact that the “Leave it
to Beaver” family model, with a stay-at-home mom and working dad, is no
longer an accurate representation of how families across the country
look.
In a recent piece for
Salon,
family advocates Mia Birdsong and Nicole Rodgers note that at “its peak
in the late 1950s, 65 percent of children were living in this type
of...family unit. Today, it’s just 22 percent.” Fed up with all the
negative representations of non-nuclear families they encountered, the
two decided to launch a new initiative called
Family Story to
change the way we talk about what family means. “[I]t’s past time that
we take back the conservative claim to family” the Family Story website
states. The organization is focused on countering the idea that there is
a single “right” kind of family.
Conservatives constantly
bemoan
changes in the American family structure as proof of moral failing, and
they have long vilified families with working mothers, single parents,
LGBT parents, and non-parental caregivers. But these types of families
defy conservative stereotypes and outdated stigmas. Family Story, which
allows real families to tell their own stories via
powerful videos and other media, will push back against these pathologizing narratives.
“I
hate that ‘family values’ has become a meaningless term often tossed
around by social conservatives, while all around us there are families
living truly important values of love, support and connectedness who are
left out,” Rodgers says. “I decided it was time to burn the old
paradigm down and build something authentic and meaningful in its
ashes.”
Family Story’s mission is ambitious yet necessary. The
project “will develop new research, share aspirational narratives and
highlight the innovative and compelling ideas, practices, and solutions
that families and communities have developed. We will offer inspiring
models for new American dreams. We will push back against harmful
stereotypes and cultural stigma. We will separate social problems like
poverty, violence, and poor school performance from family structure,
and contest the myth that the nuclear family is the solution to these
challenges.”
Rodgers is the founder of
Role Reboot,
a popular website that takes an incisive look at issues around family,
gender, culture and “life off script.” Before founding and becoming
co-director of Family Story, she spent years researching data proving
that traditional families are not the panacea conservatives claim.
Rodgers included some of this data in an article titled “Marriage Is No
Safeguard Against Poverty” which was featured in the
Washington Post this March.
Earlier this year, Mia Birdsong delivered an astonishing
TED Talk
that countered damaging, long-held ideas about poor people; it has
since been viewed more than 700,000 times. Prio to becoming Family Story
co-director, she served as vice president of the Family Independence
Initiative, an anti-poverty nonprofit.
“Family Story is not, and
will never be, about bashing nuclear families,” Nicole Rodgers says.
“Two married parents raising children can be a wonderful thing; it’s
just not the best or only thing. This is about building a bigger tent
and respecting the dignity and value of a wider range of family
arrangements.”
“It’s no surprise that conservatives have such
limited, regressive views on what makes a ‘good’ family,” adds Birdsong.
“But too few progressive advocates, policymakers and pundits are
offering a counter-narrative. There are incredible, beautiful families
who have figured out how to make it work outside the nuclear family
model. It’s past time we lift up their stories.”
